Stats on BDSM Kinks: Still Don’t Believe In Female Submission?

Poll on kinks by gender. 

 

Go to the link below to see the stats on preferred kink/sexuality

http://www.acepolls.com/polls/1237081-your-kink-of-choice

 

Total Females Voting: 233

Percentage out of female voters who prefer submission (Bottoms and Subs): 69%

Percentage out of female voters who prefer dominance (Dommes and Tops): 3%

Percentage out of female voters who prefer something in between (Total Female Voters – Submission and Dominance Percentage): 28%

Complications: 

This is a poll explicitly for those in the BDSM community, therefore, such stats may differ among non kinky people.

The terminology of the poll is misleading. Many people don’t know what a “domme” is, and “dom” didn’t have a gender next to it. Therefore, many dominant females might have clicked the “dom” box by mistake. So there may be more dominant females than this poll suggests.

Feelings of dominance and submission may differ among heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual women. The poll does not examine this.

There is no category for trans people.

The Mix of Both category doesn’t provide a gender.

Implications: 

However, a whopping 69% of the female voters clicked the sub f and bottom f boxes intentionally. That’s like 7 out of every 10 women! I’m not castigating women here for their sexual preferences. I’m simply using this poll as an example of the fact that women – overwhelmingly – prefer to be the submissive mate.

Male Results: 

Males show a more even spread of desires.

Total Male Voters: 239

Percentage of Dominant Males (Dom M + Top M): 41%

Percentage of Submissive Males (Sub M + Bottom M): 20%

Percentage of Male Voters In Between: 39%

Implications: 

A slight majority of men prefer dominance. About a third of men don’t care (Doesn’t Matter, Had Sex Meme!). Slightly less than a third prefer submission.

The Good News:

A majority of males have the capacity to attract a majority of females! The 41% of dominants already have what it takes. The 39% of “Doesn’t Matter, Had Sex” crowd that is happy with Submissive and Dominant behavior can try to orient their mating behavior towards the dominating side of the spectrum. This means that 80% of males have what it takes to attract and retain (at least in sexual terms) a majority of females who happen to be submissive.

For the 20% of males who crave submission, at least there is a female 28% who are happy to engage in both sub and dom behavior. As a sub male, you’ll have to be willing to switch it up and be dominating every now and then – but its not necessary all the time. And who knows, maybe you won’t have to if you can find your Female Dominatrix butterfly.

So why aren’t people sexually satisfied? 

frustrated couple in bed

We live in a culture that nurtures people against their nature. In the 90′s, there was a widespread campaign in U.S. public schools to encourage girls to be leaders, have more confidence, and engage in more assertive behavior. Conversely, the same campaign has encouraged boys to be more considerate, docile, and sycophantic

The end result is a generation of people who have been socialized against their primitive instincts. Our primitive, sexual instincts are a million years old. They’re not going to change because of a feminist social movement that happened 50 years ago – unless rapid advancements in gene modification therapy are made.

The end result is a generation of people who are unsatisfied with their sex lives and marriages. A large number of the upper and middle class are seeking expensive therapy, counseling, and medication. The poor who can’t afford these luxuries, to a large degree, are simply knocking each other up and avoiding commitment all together.

We need to ignore all the garbage the media and the education system have shoved into our brains. We need to listen to our instincts.

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3 Responses to Stats on BDSM Kinks: Still Don’t Believe In Female Submission?

  1. Alice says:

    It has been my observation that most men into BDSM are submissive, but the Dominant ones are the only ones that aren’t afraid to leave the safety of their computer.

    • Embrace Eve says:

      That is an observation, but this may just be among the people you know. The poll I posted took an anonymous answer from more than 100 people in an online BDSM community: thus, including those guys who never leave their computer. I’m more inclined to believe the data than an observation from a few people you may know.

  2. Liza says:

    As a female sexual submissive, I find this post extremely offensive. Besides the incredible folly of touting an internet poll posted in one online forum as scientific evidence (in actual sociological studies, the statistics are often quite a bit closer together: https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/education-outreach/what-is-sm/item/364-what-is-sm-how-many-people-engage-in-sm?.html ), there is also the complete oversight in the survey where the “Dom” status did not specify a gender, a fact that was not given enough weight in your “observations”.

    But forget the survey. For the sake of my argument, let’s pretend that an overwhelming majority of females in the BDSM community are in fact submissive. This does not mean that it is in our nature to submit to men in all aspects of our lives. Just as “vanilla” people exhibit a range of personalities outside of their sex lives, so do members of the BDSM community. I am a female submissive, yet I attend an Ivy League university (studying in a traditionally male-dominated STEM field, no less!), in part thanks to growing up in the educational system of the 90′s and 00′s. I am a leader of my class both academically and socially, I am confident in myself and my abilities, and I am not afraid to assert myself to get what I want. While I am turned on by being dominated in bed, I want to be the one on top in my career, and I am certainly not an anomaly in that.

    Additionally, participating in consensual BDSM activities is itself empowering to submissives. As a submissive, I can choose who I want to interact with and how, and there are plenty of safeguards in place (such as safe words) to ensure that my partner never goes too far for my liking. While I may enjoy pretending to be forced into sex, the reality is that I have the power to say “no” for real, a power that my consensual partner must heed (and if they didn’t, I would then have the personal power not to engage in sexual activities with them in the future, and probably sever ties with them completely). So just because I am turned on by being dominated in bed does NOT mean that I am somehow docile by nature or that schools that encourage female leaders have “socialized me against my nature”.

    Finally, it is completely wrong to use statistics from a sexual subculture to make a statement about society as a whole. Only a small portion of the population is interested in BDSM, and therefore only a small portion of females in general are interested in being dominated in their PRIVATE sex lives (read: NOT in real life). You cannot use the statistics of this one entity to claim that all females and males are being “socialized against their nature” by feminist “garbage”. And who says that this generation is more dissatisfied with our sex lives or marriage than previous ones? Perhaps a higher divorce rate just stems from a change in religious views (as more religious people typically oppose divorce) – meaning that people are no longer scared into staying together by the Church. And perhaps an increase in illegitimate pregnancies among the poor has more to do with improper sex education and lack of access to contraceptives, two problems which the feminist movement seeks to solve.

    The conclusions that have been reached in this article simply cannot be drawn from the data that you have offered, and attempting to do so is extremely offensive, oppressive, and degrading to female submissives and women in general. My instincts tell me that this article is the real garbage, and I’m going to listen to them. Hopefully the rest of society can follow.

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